3 Dangerous Myths about Narcissism and Autism
3 Dangerous Myths about Narcissism and Autism Jodi Carlton, MEd, LLC Jodi Carlton, MEd
Neurodiverse Relationship Expert
Jodi Carlton, MEd
August 28, 2024
myths about narcissism and autism, narcissism and autism
I have noticed three disturbing trends on social media regarding narcissism and autism that are misleading and dangerous. Despite being a seasoned professional in the areas of autism and narcissism, my own understanding is constantly evolving, and I know now more than I did even a year ago–and MUCH more than 5 years ago.
So, let’s explore the latest research that debunks the following commonly held myths:
Myth # 1: Everyone is a little narcissistic.
Myth # 2: Everyone is a little autistic.
Myth # 3: Autistic individuals are inherently narcissistic.
Understanding the Meaning of a “Spectrum” Disorder
In order to explore these myths, first, we need to clarify the meaning of a “spectrum” disorder and how an individual meets the criteria for diagnosis. The above misconceptions of autism and narcissism typically come from the idea that the “more” traits one has, the more autistic or narcissistic they are – and that there is a cutoff point that determines whether someone meets clinical criteria for diagnosis.
Instead, narcissism and autism are both characterized by patterns of diverse traits and behaviors that can manifest in various combinations and intensities. Diagnosing a person with autism or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves recognizing the patterns of traits or behaviors that last over the course of time as opposed to occasionally or as a response to a specific life event or situation.
Autism is characterized by a unique pattern of challenges and strengths, such as differences in communication, social interaction, sensory processing, and repetitive behaviors. These traits vary widely from person to person, making each individual’s experience with autism distinct. Autism is complex and multidimensional where different combinations of these traits come together to form the overall diagnosis, rather than existing on a single, linear scale.
Narcissism is characterized by patterns of excessive sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. Vulnerable (or covert) narcissists may outwardly seem humble and even kind but lack genuine empathy and are motivated by the need for praise and admiration. Narcissists have a tendency to exploit or emotionally manipulate others for personal gain.
Like autism, narcissism can manifest in a wide range of traits and behaviors across different individuals. This variation can create the impression of a narcissistic “spectrum,” where traits differ in severity and impact. What sets narcissistic personality disorder apart from those who occasionally display grandiose or manipulative behaviors is the persistence of these patterns over a lifetime and in relationships with others. This consistent and pervasive pattern is what defines NPD.
Myth # 1: Everyone is a little narcissistic.
This idea trivializes the profoundly harmful traits of true narcissism and can exacerbate the already devastating effects experienced by those in abusive relationships with narcissists. It is natural for everyone to have moments where they are self-centered, lack empathy or compassion, or even feel jealous or vindictive. These behaviors are part of the human experience and often arise from specific situations, stress, or emotional triggers. Teenagers, for example, often display narcissistic traits, but this is a normal part of human development, and it is why NPD cannot be diagnosed until the mid to late 20’s after a person’s brain is fully developed.
Moreover, narcissistic individuals demonstrate a pattern of destructive behavior over the course of time that is toxic and abusive to people in their lives. Narcissists often derive pleasure from exploiting vulnerabilities to gain power and control, and from their ability to cause pain. This behavior is calculated, often involving fear, confusion, and psychological manipulation. Narcissists may play the victim to get others to compromise their values, safety, and identity, throwing them off balance to maintain dominance.
It’s crucial to understand that these deeply harmful, life-long narcissistic traits are what define narcissism. Not everyone possesses these characteristics—thankfully.
The myth that “everyone is a bit narcissistic” minimizes the severe impact of narcissism on abuse victims who have usually been gaslighted into self-doubt and leads to thoughts like, “It’s not that bad; everyone is like this to some extent.” While it’s true that everyone can exhibit self-centered, critical, or even manipulative behaviors at times, these common human flaws are fundamentally different from the pathological traits seen in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Myth # 2: Everyone is a little autistic.
This myth dismisses the unique challenges faced by autistic individuals, diminishing the reality of their experiences and needs. It also contributes to misunderstandings about autism, leading to beliefs that can hinder proper support and accommodations for those who are autistic.
According to the latest research, approximately 80% of autism is linked to inherited genetic mutations, whereas 20% is related to other factors during prenatal development. According to Dr. Daniel H. Geschwind, who was awarded a National Academy of Medicine prize for investigating autism’s genetic underpinnings, “Everything known to cause autism occurs during early brain development.” These genetic mutations either exist or they don’t. An environmental impact, such as a maternal virus or injury, during prenatal development, either happened or didn’t. Autism doesn’t develop later in life because of life experiences.
A person is autistic–or they are not.
Autism classifications are partially at fault for the confusion around this idea that some people are “slightly autistic.” In 2013, The American Psychiatric Association changed the criteria for diagnosing autism, reassigning the category previously known as Asperger’s as “mild” autism. Asperger’s was always understood to be a diagnosis of autism, but was named for the physician Hans Asperger, who first identified this particular pattern of autistic traits.
Autism is now clinically categorized as Level 1 (Mild), Level 2 (Moderate), or Level 3 (Severe). The characteristic patterns that differentiate between these levels of autism are largely related to a person’s ability (or inability) to live independently without daily caregiver support (level 2 and level 3 require part-time to full-time caregiver support).
Level 1 autistics often study and learn human behaviors, facial expressions, and social interactions in order to fit in (masking), and they usually live independently as adults; they may finish college, have very successful careers, get married, and have families. Therefore, a person who is level 1 autistic is often misunderstood to be “not that autistic” and to have minimal challenges associated with autism. This is not the case. These individuals have brain differences that impact neurological development in areas of language, executive functioning, socialization, and sensory perception.
Myth # 3: Autistic individuals are inherently narcissistic.
For this to be true, autism and narcissism would have to be linked in some way, and the current research in no way supports this. Although both are influenced by genetics and are characterized by brain differences, there are unique biological differences in autism and narcissism, which are totally unrelated to one another. For this reason, it is possible for an individual to be BOTH autistic and narcissistic, which is a highly destructive combination, but being one does not correlate with the other.
Let’s look at the latest research.
NARCISSISM: Although genetics play a role in up to 64% of individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, research in epigenetics suggests that stressful experiences and adverse childhood experiences may increase the risk of developing NPD by altering the expression of inherited genes associated with emotional regulation and empathy. Findings also suggest a neurological basis for narcissistic traits, particularly in regions associated with empathy, self-reflection, and emotional regulation.
AUTISM: A study about autism found that multiple regions of the brain are affected in individuals with autism. Specifically, changes were observed in the frontal cortex, temporal cortex, parietal cortex, occipital cortex, and cerebellum. These alterations involved various types of brain cells, indicating that the impact of autism is widespread across different brain systems rather than being confined to specific areas.
So, although brain differences are characteristic of both autism and narcissism, the regions of the brain and types of anomalies seen in the research are unique and unrelated.
Autism and Narcissism: A Dangerous Combination
Autism and narcissism can co-occur, and when they do, the combination can be particularly dangerous. Autistic narcissists, while not necessarily violent, can be unsafe because they often have a lack of regard for others’ well-being, even when their words seem compassionate. Their emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and decreased safety awareness can lead to devastating consequences. In moments of rage, sensory overload, or power struggles, they may cause significant harm or put others in danger, even unintentionally.
Resources to Navigate Neurodiversity and Narcissism in Relationships
Understanding the profound differences between narcissism and autism is essential for recognizing the unique challenges and dangers each can present, especially when they intersect. It is best to seek resources and professional help from a provider who is experienced in neurodiversity as well as toxic and abusive relationships.
This quiz is specifically designed to assess traits of autism, narcissism, toxicity, and safety risks. You can also take a self-study course that outlines the differences between autism and narcissism. If you need in-person help, attend a support group or book a private consultation with me, Jodi Carlton, MEd.
Sources:
Nenadić, I., Lorenz, C. & Gaser, C. Narcissistic personality traits and prefrontal brain structure. Sci Rep 11, 15707 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-94920-z
UCLA Health. (2023, August 10). *Researcher awarded National Academy of Medicine prize for work on brain stimulation.* UCLA Health. https://www.uclahealth.org/news/researcher-awarded-national-academy-medicine-prize-work
UCLA Health. (2023, August 16). Brain changes in autism are far more sweeping than previously known. UCLA Health.
The post 3 Dangerous Myths about Narcissism and Autism first appeared on Jodi Carlton, MEd, LLC.