Hey Mama, I See You — Navigating The Exhaustion of Parenting a Neurodivergent Child
Hey Mama, I See You — Navigating The Exhaustion of Parenting a Neurodivergent Child Jodi Carlton, MEd, LLC Jodi Carlton, MEd
Neurodiverse Relationship Expert
Jodi Carlton, MEd
March 28, 2025
ADHD children, autistic child, neurodivergent moms, parenting a neurodivergent child
Hey Mama, I see you.
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably tired. Maybe even bone-deep, soul-weary tired. Parenting a neurodivergent child is a lot. And if you have more than one—or if you’re neurodivergent yourself like me—the exhaustion can feel like a permanent state of being.
I have ADHD (and didn’t know it until recent years), and I have an autistic young adult daughter and an ADHD teenage son. Every single day, I juggle the emotional highs and lows, the endless decision-making, and the worry that comes with wanting to do right by my kids. If you’re feeling the same way, I want you to know you’re not alone.
Wearing All the Hats
As moms, we naturally wear a lot of hats. But when your child is neurodivergent, those hats multiply. One minute you’re their fierce advocate at school, the next you’re a therapist, a medical coordinator, or a meltdown-soother. You become an expert in sensory triggers, executive dysfunction, and IEP meetings—usually without a moment to catch your breath.
And let’s not forget that we’re often running on empty while trying to meet everyone’s needs. Our health, both physical and mental, tends to get shoved to the back burner.
I’ve been there—falling into bed at the end of the day, wondering how I’m going to do it all again tomorrow. That’s the invisible weight of parenting a neurodivergent child: constantly switching roles while managing your own burnout.
The Doubts That Keep Us Up at Night
Then come the doubts. You know the ones:
“Am I making the right choices? Am I helping or hurting? Will this decision affect them for years to come?”
That inner monologue is relentless. I’ve spent countless nights second-guessing myself, wondering if I should have pushed harder, backed off sooner, or tried a different approach. We all want to give our kids the best shot at a fulfilling life, but the pressure can be paralyzing.
Understanding Our Kids—And Ourselves
One thing that’s helped me tremendously is understanding how neurodivergent brains work, including my own. I made it my mission in life to become an expert in neurodiversity—and here I am. My personal goal will always be to keep learning, but my new mission is to help you!
One crucial thing I discovered is that neurodivergent kids often “outsource” tasks when they can—not because they’re lazy, but because their brains naturally seek the path of least resistance. If they can convince someone else to help, they will. Sound familiar?
Recognizing this has changed how I approach certain behaviors. Instead of jumping to frustration, I try to pause and ask, “Is this a skill they’re struggling with, or are they overwhelmed? Or are they being a typical teenager or kid exercising independence and free will!” Learning to spot the difference has made our home calmer and much more cooperative.
You’re Not Failing—You’re Carrying A Lot
I know it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough or that you’re somehow falling short. But the very fact that you worry, that you’re reading this right now, tells me you care deeply. And that counts. A lot.
Some days will be harder than others. There will be meltdowns (theirs and maybe yours, too). There will be impossible conversations with schools or doctors and, perhaps worse, conflict with your co-parent about what’s best for your kids. And there will be nights when your mind races with all the things you wish you’d done differently.
But there will also be laughter, connection, and those small, beautiful moments that remind you why it’s all worth it.
So, take a breath (or a few) and remember that you are not alone in this. I’m right here, figuring it out alongside you. And together, we’re raising some pretty amazing, resilient kids.
Want More Support on Your Journey?
If this resonated with you, you’ll love Season 5 of the Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast. I’m diving deep into real conversations with neurodiverse couples and professionals to explore what makes relationships work when neurodivergence is in the mix — the challenges, the wins, and everything in between.
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